Do you love me?

Do you hate me?

Too bad for you that from what I see

Every piece of you belongs solely to me.

Your lips scream out your hatred

While your eyes are begging of my love

By the burden of my wanting, my dear you've become jaded

How your soul must ache, this torment from your beloved

A kiss so cold to freeze your heart

In this vacuum of empty desire

Your lips to me are a path to depart

This place so cruel and tired

Your arms, to me, so warm in their resentment

For our hearts beating together so close

Seething loathing mixed with unbridled contentment

So hard you wish to encumber me with our feelings transposed

Because at the foundation of your devout affection

Is a hatred so strong

That the only means of giving your soul protection

Is to love the one who's treated you so wrong

A kiss like mine

Is one you can never forget

A pleasure like a wave of happiness divine

And a pain stricken with solid regret

With me, my love, you'll always be

I've stolen your heart and have left you cursed

Your heart with an undying wanting and craving you see

But remember, my dear, it was you who loved me first.

I think I have realized why I am so...unhappy most of the time.  There are few if any happy people in my life.  Where have all the happy people gone and why didn't they take me with them?  Depressing, isn't it.

Oh feel its sweet kiss upon your skin
Dance between its fingers like a happy child
Revel in its embrace, so strong, so tender
In its treats it can be calm or unexpectedly wild

Oh to be as free as the wind can be
What a dream to far to even dare
It entices with its whispers so sweet
While tainting our hearts with a dark despair

For freedom like the wind’s is never to be gained
Not by the likes of one who dares to lay claim
To claim a world that is never truly ours
The wind constantly bedazzles us with its powers

From a gentle caress across your face
To a boat capsized in the lake
Feel that cool breeze between your toes
Where’s the roof of my house, well who knows?

But the wind, my friend, is not wicked in its game
Like the ocean, or the sun, or the rain, they are all the same
Take them for granted and then you shall regret
They’re like the lover you wish you’d never met

So eagerly they fulfill all your desires
The next moment they are slashing your tires
They hurt you, the wind and such that is, only because you deserve it
Everything, they have given you and yet still you flirted

Trying to grasp the unattainable when all you need is here
Don’t reach for the stars without a really tall ladder
Because when you fall, they’ll all still be here
The wind to caress, the sun to warm, the rain to heal,
and the ocean to drown all of your fears

Life's a joke: you can either be the punch line or stand up and deliver.

I am just one bitter, bitter person....it's getting kinda old.

I've been thinking a lot about why I don't like people.  But the thing is, I do like people, in fact I love people.  I think that it's because of that whole thin line between love and hate that makes it so easy to just cast people off as detestible creatures. 

I mean, I do genuinely love people.  People are fun, they are exciting, they make me laugh, they make me smile, people make me happy. 

But then, I really, really don't like people.  People are mean, people are rude, they make me angry, they make me sad, people are not nice people.

I think it's when you hold something so close to your heart and it just keeps on letting you down, that you get tired.  I'm tired.  I want people to be all that they can be.  We can live and just be.  But no, people have to make things so difficult.

I think mostly, it's just disappointment.  I know that us humans were put here to be great, but for some reason we just can't hash it out.  It seems like for all of our 'genius' we've just done everything wrong.  Everything is so messed up and I doubt if we will be able to fix it. 

Why are people so fricken shady all the time?  Why does everything have to have a hidden meaning?  Why does everything have to be a competition?  I mean, sure competition is good...if it leads to something productive.  But our competitions generally just wind up leaving somebody hurt.  Why does everybody have to beat everybody else down?  Just so they can feel powerful?  It just doesn't matter.  Some things just don't matter.

Mountains out of molehills, as they say.  Why do some people always have to play the victim?  Why do some people always want to make others victims? 

What is wrong with people?

I really do love people, and that's what makes me able to hate people.

“This world has become a sullen place. Who can you trust when even children are subconsciously taught to lie whenever they feel at a loss for words, feelings, knowledge. Why do they expect me to treat them as if they matter when they truly don’t? How can I not look upon this cancerous plague of a population with disgust and outrage. No, not quite outrage, I think I am too far past that point… perhaps, disappointment. Disappointed in how quickly we have fallen into the horrors of humanity. It’s our condition, they say. There’s no changing it. The problem that I have with that is, everyone can choose how they act, everyone can choose what they believe. No matter where you were born or how you were raised, you can choose who you are going to be. I know this because I grew up in the same world as everyone else yet I am different. So much different.
‘Greed and selfishness consume the modern man. They consume him to the point where he doesn’t even know who he is anymore, all he knows is what everyone else tells him to know. Nothing is his own. Only the few that still hold on to a tiny bit of their own consciousness call the shots. These are the ones I am fighting. These are the ones destroying this world.
‘With my power, I can bring it back to what it once was, no, this world was never so perfect, I can take this world to a whole new beginning. I can bring the people to a place of understanding how disillusioned they have become and then take them to a better place. This world will be a good place. This world will know peace…”

What should we do when love has yet to find us?
Keep on waiting, or leave the feeling behind us?
Why should we care if love is here or there?
What matters most, love or kindness?

I am asking....why don't I know the feeling?

Do I not yearn like everbody else?

Afraid of the pain that comes laughing with heartache....

But even behind so many bars and walls and locks

Perhaps I am waiting
Perhaps I will keep waiting

 

Somehow I cannot decide

Should I feel sadness or should I feel pride?

For the darkness that I have set upon you

Was this not my one sole purpose?

To make my lips the ones you want to kiss...

To make your hands yearn for a place at my hips...

Was this not what I dreamed of all along?

Either way my heart is torn

Between eternal bliss and perpetual scorn

For the joy I get from your pain

The fire I see inside your eyes

Oh, even though I have seen it so many times...

That gleaming blaze makes my thoughts go wild

And for your touch I crave

You hate me,

You love me.

A ‘not' to the end of either would be false

But do not despair...It was not your fault

I set out to make you my own

Who knew how these feelings would grow

Then change and twist our smiles to tears

Pulling our hearts into never ending fear

All I wish for you now...

Not happiness nor sadness...

Not sanity nor madness...

All I wish for you now,

My heart, my dear, my dreams, my desire...

All I wish for you now is peace.

;P