Aha I make myself laugh sometimes. muah ha aha haha ah

the human body is a remarkable thing.  cherish it.  the earth is a spectacular place. respect it.  It sends shivers up my spine to think how perfectly it all just fits together.  ooh there goes one now ;)

I feel like everything has become so trite and mundane.  I feel like I need a drastic change of scenery.  However, it's not going to be happening anytime soon...no no not for a long while....bleh

I'm done with this feeling
It serves me no use
What gives you the right
To hold my heart in your noose?

I don't really know you
You barely know me
It's terribly clear that
There will never be a "we"

I dreamed of you last night
I awoke wondering why
I hardly even see you but
You are still in my mind

So just please let me go now
I am not yours for the taking
Let my mind be at rest
Before my heart it starts breaking

It seems the more I try to let go
The tighter is your grip
Unravel your fingers
Like water, let me drip

I want you to want me
But since it won't be
My heart needs to breathe now
Just please set it free

I wonder what happens when we all stop pretending....

It's funny when people speak and they have nothing to say.  They just go on and on without saying one single thing.  Funny, no?

At least that's what they say.

I can see how it can be a good thing: one is blind to the facile exterior and can see into the heart and soul of it all.

But I can also see how it can be not so good: one's sight can become clouded to things that those on the outside can see clearly.

So, I believe that love should lead to insight, not blindness.

Fall for me, my star, and forever I'll be your angel

So high you are up in the sky
So bright is your gleam in the darkest of night
Calling out to you in a whispered sigh
But in your glory, hearing me is only a dream




A fuzzy goodness I feel from you
There's something deeper hidden so well
Underneath that brightness rests only a shell

That hole I can fill
If that is what you wish
Just lend me a hand, and I will give you this

Just one more time, to live out this fable

Fall for me, my star, and forever I will be your angel

Bit by bit
every day a little more, more more
goes so steadily out the not so tightly locked doooor

losing a little here, a tad more there
nd gaining something never had before
as it creeps stealthily through the slightly ajar door dor door

settling in, pushing it out, making itself at home
but the cost is great... so much it takes ... away
what is seen, is new but not so much... know it or not, it'd be there anyway

slowly, slowly, slowly........ until the basket is too full
then the eggs will spill all about the pristine marble flooor

burning bridges never built
stranded on an island in a shallow sea of guilt
funny this is, is it not?
"reap what is sewn", so this is what uve got

tomorrow is tomorrow, but it doesn't really matter
today is only today, when is it ever tomorrow....
So as the day goes by
it slowly eats its fill
taking as it slithers, tearing through the maze
not much of a puzzle, because it always knows the way

taking but never breaking
that part is up to the user
use what is given until there is no more left

oh no, just lost the rhyme .... guess that's what happens
happens when it's taking and leaving
something of a riddle
kind of like this

so recently, i've found myself pulling away more and more from everyone, everything...its not that i've gone somewhere else, kind of like i'm in limbo of some sort, it's strange...

so anyways, recently, i've been thinking about how foolish that i think that people, including myself are.  foolish about so much stuff that it's sad and funny at the same time.

but i've also been thinking on the other side of this that, there is no way that everyone else can be wrong, so there must be something wrong with me and my process.  i have not ruled this out, but i feel that there is just so much foolishness, so much pettiness, so much nothingness.  maybe because i am so far on the outside that i can't see what happens in the middle.  but do i want to be caught up in all the games and poured into the melting pot?  do i want to find myself being one of the few stirring the pot? or do i just want to continue to sit here and observe?  i think i'll stay were i am, however slowly moving further away. 

this is not good for me, no oh no it's not.  but for some reason this is all i've got.  it's kind of fun though.  i don't explain my process and so people just don't understand it, because i'm not associated with that huge soupy mess...and so when i'm odd, no one knows why, they don't ask, i don't tell them.  there's not much to it, i'm just a strange person, that's the way it's always been, that's the way it'll always be.  strange not to me, of course, but to the general everything else.  bah, it's hard to find comfort this way.  but it's the only way...for me.

confined to these walls that i've built. 
will i ever climb my way out?
do i want to? 

maybe i'll give up one day and let it all pour in and wash me away










doubtful